"Happiest" Part 2

Due to readers' requests, I am posting some pictures from this past Mother's Day visit with my mom and dad.

As part of my mom's gift, I got her tickets for Jersey Boys. This is a family photo just before the May 17th Wednesday night performance (click to enlarge).

I am not a huge fan of Broadway musicals, but this show was excellent. And it just so happened that after we were seated, former President Clinton and Chelsea made their way to their seats about six rows in front of ours.

My mom also had a very special Mother's Day proper. That's because we were invited to celebrate Mother's Day with my photographer Lori Golias and her family and other friends.  Lori cooked cornish game hens, mashed pototoes, grilled vegetables and more. It was delicious!

Here we at dinner. Lori transformed her living room into a swanky dining hall. Maybe the most interesting fact about my parents' trip is that they drove from Texas. They wanted to take the opportunity to see the coast along the way. So they   took a week and enjoyed themselves, making stops in Alabama, Savannah, the Carolina's and Atlantic City. We also enjoyed some time together in NYC. Ya'll come again soon, ya here?

YOU Cook?

Despite that my closet is stuffed full of clothes, shoes, accessories and who knows what else because I can't really get to it all, I've always been a true minimalist in the kitchen. Ever since I opened the fridge of a male friend ten years ago and found only an orange and a bottle of champagne, I've wanted such Zen. Though I've never been there, honestly, right now, even after a near week-long parental visit, if you opened my fridge you'd find only (wait let me go look) water, a tomato, left over sushi, radishes (from my dad's garden- I will allow these in my space anytime,) milk, parmesan cheese and a few left-over items headed for the trash in a few minutes.

My cabinets are pretty much the same way. Besides, I have a small kitchen, so I have to keep it this way. I just measured and its 49 by 73. That is inches. It just enough room for a small fridge, stove, sink and 16 by 25 inches worth of counterspace. However, over the past year, I've started cooking. I've always been able to make the staples: scrambled eggs, broiled frozen chicken breasts, spinach and mushroom quesadillas, guacamole, and my specialty: warmed and spiced up left-overs. But since I've been doing the "What's Cooking" show on News 12 Connecticut, I've learned how to make some incredible dinners. Think about it. These chefs that come on the show have to carry all the ingredients to the studio. Then they have put the dish together within about ten minutes and then clean up to make room for the next chef. For the most part they keep it simple. But you know if you watch, these famous and skilled chefs from southwestern Connecticut and New York City consistently whip up great things. (After a lesson from Morton's, you should try my steaks.)

However, the one dish that really got me motivated is a Macaroni and Cheese from Carol McManus of Espresso Love on Martha's Vineyard. I've never even liked mac & cheese, much less one that is going to take more effort than opening a box and stirring in some powdered cheese mix. But this recipe is so good. My boyfriend loves it. After I started making it, we've gone to restaurant after restaurant trying to find a better one, and we can't. This one is special. Though don't feed it to vegetarians and its not cheap. It does work as the main course, and if you have kids, I'm told they like this kind of stuff. I'll pass along the recipe, but I usually double it- and throw in some extra cheese- a pepper jack. Since I do that I usually substitute one cup of the heavy cream for the cup of milk. I spoke with Carol about my fiddling with her recipe, and she said that is what you should do to make it your own. If you try this recipe, please let me know how it turns out! BlogHRKovar@news12.com. Oh- and if you have leftover prosciutto, a cook told me to wrap it around a piece of melon and serve as an appetizer. Its good. Also, you can find out when What's Cooking airs every Saturday and Sunday by clicking here.

Macaroni and Cheese with Prosciutto (This French take on mac and cheese has a nice assertive flavor.)

INGREDIENTS:  8 oz. small elbow macaroni ( 2 cups)

1 cup heavy cream

1 cup 2% milk

3 oz. thinly sliced prosciutto, coarsely chopped

1 cup grated Gruyere' cheese

1 cup smoked Gouda cheese

1/2 cup Parmesan cheese

1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg

METHOD:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Butter 11/7-inch glass baking dish. Cook macaroni in large pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to bite. Drain well. Wisk 3/4 cup gruyere', 3/4 cup gouda, parmesan, cream, milk, prosciutto and nutmeg in a large bowl to blend. Add macaroni and toss to coat. Season with salt and pepper. Transfer to prepared baking dish. Sprinkle remaining gruyere' and gouda cheese over the top. Bake until cheese melts and macaroni and cheese sets, about 20 minutes. Serve warm.

The Happiest Mother's Day

I just had a great week.

My parents came to visit over Mother's Day weekend, and even though they stayed with me in my small apartment, I can still say we had a fabulous time.

You might have seen the pre-mother's day piece I did on getting along with mom every day of the year, not just Mother's Day. Its easy to send a card with insincere inscriptions like

"I love you for the wise advise you give so expertly." "I love the way you are smart, the way you are generous." "Hey mom, you've been voted most lovable mom of the year!" "Mom, you might ask yourself how did my daughter turn out so wonderful?" You open the card to a big fold out cartoon dog holding a banner that reads "Role Model!"

However, I can remember back when I was in junior high, high school and college, and even up to just a few years ago, those famous mother-daughter spats my mom and I shared. I'm sure many of you mothers and daughters can relate.

To help moms and daughters improve their relationship, and maybe even say meaningful nice things to each other, I spoke with Clinical Psychologist,

Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler of Weston. After seeing adolescent girls and their moms in therapy for about 20 years, she wrote the book, "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You! A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict."

She is also the author of "Trust Me, Mom - Everyone Else Is Going" and "Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure" which is due out in paperback soon.

I asked Dr. Cohen-Sandler what moms and daughters commonly say about each other.

She said "I think children of any age talk about their moms being very bossy and very critical. All a mom has to do is look at her daughter, and especially if she is a teenager she thinks, why is mother looking at me like this? She thinks her mother is criticizing her and thinking she could be doing something better. Even if the mother doesn't say a word."

However I know daughters are famous for throwing around a few glances themselves. My mom always used to accuse me of the "evil eye."

Dr. Cohen-Sandler says when the mother tries to offer advice, like "Maybe you should change your clothes, or maybe you should do this differently?" Then she says girls think "Oh, my mother is so critical of me" and get very angry about it.

So here is the advice: Dr. Cohen-Sandler suggests mothers choose their battles. She says to "pick out the things you really want to be critical about and make an issue out of those. All the rest, let slide. It's better to have harmony and good feelings in the relationship with your daughter and save your energy for when it really matters."

As for the girls, she says they can say to their moms, "I'm feeling like you are really being critical of me and criticizing me and you are making me feel bad. " The daughter needs to check it out with mom. Ask "Is this something you are really upset about?" Don't assume she is really being as critical as she seems.

To help communication between mothers and daughters of any age, Dr. Cohen-Sandler says it pays to think about WHEN you are going to bring up something that is bothering you. She says if you as a mother have been stewing about an issue all day long while your daughter is at school, DON'T pick the moment she walks in the door to address it. She needs time to unwind, decompress and maybe have a snack. Instead, Dr. Cohen-Sandler says bring it up when you are in the car together. The rocking motion can be soothing, plus you are not facing each other, so it doesn't feel like such a confrontation. She also recommends talking before bedtime because teens are more mellow at that time.

Dr. Cohen-Sandler says one of the biggest problems with mothers and daugthers is that we take liberties with each other. We say things to each other that we wouldn't say to anyone else. Plus she says ANGER is an issue moms need to teach their daughters to deal with. She says even when moms are angry, they need to be respectful. "No name calling, and not saying things in anger that are hurtful or accusatory." She says you need to tell your daughter you are upset, but to say it in words, not act it out. Plus you shouldn't feel like you have to express your anger right off the bat. She says give yourself some time to calm down. The issue will still be there after you take some time to cool off.

Even if you don't believe this next part, she says teenagers want their mother's opinions more than moms know. Although of course teens are going to act as though mom's opinion doesn't matter. So that is why she says moms shouldn't call an outfit "ridiculous." She says that word can be insulting. Instead, she tells moms they should say something like " have you thought about a different outfit?" Or "have you thought about the fact that outfit is very tiny and it's cold out and you are going to be freezing today?" or even "that outfit is going to bring you a lot of attention you might not want."

She reminds us that the mother-daughter relationship is a very special one, but one that can be full of difficulties. So she says Mother's Day is a great time to really think about and reflect on what we've gotten from each other and how we treasure our relationship. By the way, I didn't buy my mother any of those cards at the store. Instead, I paid the extra three bucks to have Amazon.com wrap the DVD I bought her and include a card in which I wrote a personal message, perfectly typed and signed by Amazon.

Go Fish!

I appreciate all the response I receive from viewers reading my blog. So please keep them coming to BlogHRKovar@News12.com. However, I want to share some comments from a recent email concerning my previous baseball blog.

Hank writes: My mother spent some of her youth in Massachusetts and still had many relatives in the Boston area, so I became a die hard Red Sox fan. Growing up I had some friends who were Yankee fans and some who were Red Sox fans. I was a huge fan during their world series run in 1967 and I was in college, just outside of Boston for the 1975 World series. When Carlton Fisk hit the game winning home run in game six the school erupted -- everyone opened their windows and cheered.

But what I found is that following the Red Sox is like falling in love with a girl that breaks your heart -- every year.

Well Hank- with the Sox up one on the Yankees this season, we'll just have to see how it goes when the two teams pair up next week at Yankee stadium.

Here is a little more from Hank's response:

You are correct that "fandom" is passed down as my almost 17-year-old son likes the same teams I like and the same goes for his friends and their parents.
Ok - what was the Astrodome like? I always wanted to go there but never made it. I've been to Fenway, Yankee, Shea, Giants, U.S. Open tennis, Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia, the new stadium in Baltimore and Harbor Yard. When my kids were younger we had their birthday parties at Bluefish games and they did a great job -- very fan friendly and kid friendly there. My son and I would like to see a game from every baseball and football stadium.
He continues:
I always wonder what would have happened if my mother did not have family in Boston -- I would be a Yankee fan and would have never suffered the grief, aggravation and frustration as I have over the years following the teams that I do.

To answer Hank's question about what the Astrodome was like, I just remember the world's first domed stadium as being big and loud and loving it. I saw games, concerts and Houston Livestock Show and Rodeos there. It's also where we get the term Astroturf. The roof was originally clear, but players couldn't see the balls, so they painted the roof to keep the sunlight out. This caused the grass to die, and the imitation grass became known as Astroturf .
Actually the very first baseball game played at the Astrodome was on April 9, 1965, an ehibition game between the Astros and the Yankees.

Speaking of the Bluefish - you might have seen the Living Fit segment that aired Tuesday to promote Wednesday's home opener. I was able to hang out on the field with players Hector Kuilan and Buzz Hannahan, as well as pitching coach Brian Warren. They demonstrated how they get their arms stretched and warmed up for the game. Also watch for upcoming segments featuring catcher Kuilan and short-stop Hannahan individually. Kuilan explains what it takes to be a catcher, and Hannahan teaches me exercises that improve reaction time for baseball players. You can catch Living Fit every Tuesday on News 12 Connecticut beginning at noon.

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

There is a slight dilemma among baseball fans here in southwestern Connecticut.
In addition to the national controversies over steroid use, debates over whether Pete Rose should be inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame, and whether old time stadiums like Fenway, Yankee and Shea should be pushed aside for newer models, Connecticut residents must also decide which team to cheer for.

Connecticut is historically considered New England, so some people choose New England's Boston Red Sox. But life can be difficult for Sox fans living here in the southern part of the state. Since we're so close to New York City, southwestern Connecticut is also filled with Yankees and Mets fans. So between the arguments and squabbles among them, actually seeing the Red Sox in action can be a challenge. The drive to Shea or Yankee stadium can be done in about an hour, or you can take Metro North Railroad. If you want to visit Fenway, expect at least a three hour drive.

I was first turned on to this struggle a couple of years ago when a man living in New Canaan told me it bugs him that there aren't more Red Sox Fans in his part of New England. For research on my piece, I took a trip out to a Red Sox - Yankee game at Fenway. I spoke with movie director Spike Lee out on the field. When I asked him on camera which team people from Connecticut should root for, even though he was decked out in Yankees gear, he said traditionally people from Connecticut consider themselves New Englanders so they are Red Sox fans. But then I asked about the southern part of the state, like New Canaan and Fairfield and Stamford. He thought for just a second and said, "I think it really depends on who your parents are, because parents indoctrinate their children." I found proof of his theory at the game. Amazingly, I found a Red Sox family of three generations, and they just so happened to be from New Canaan! The group consisted of a grandfather, his son and his two daughters. The grandfather had taken his son to games, and now the son was sharing the favor with his daughters.

Even this year while covering the Mets' home opener, I met Connecticut resident after Connecticut resident who grew up going to the games. I also found a group here consisting of three generations of Mets fans. So parents, if you want your children to cheer for your team instead of against it, take them to the stadium! Even though it’s expensive to attend sporting events, the tickets, the hot dogs the cold beverages and the Cracker Jacks, baseball is one of the more affordable sporting events ticketwise. You can get Yankee tickets for as little as five dollars if you don't mind sitting in the bleacher section where alcohol isn't served.

Check out the picture of my seats at Yankee stadium. I wasn't trying to save money, it was a Yankees - Mets game and it was the best I could get. However, the picture I was taking is of the vendor. I know it’s difficult to tell, but he is selling a box of Crunch 'n Munch. Remember back in June of 2004 when the Yanks decided to sell Crunch 'n Munch instead of Cracker Jacks? Of course fan outcry led to the return of the original within a month. Tastewise Munch might have been okay, but it just didn't sound right. I mean, along with the "beer here" chants, I was also hearing "Crunch 'n Munch." It just didn't work. I'm upset, though. I had a better picture of him posing with a box so you could read the lettering on it, but I can't find that one.

I became interested in baseball while covering the 1999 and 2000 induction weekends out at The National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. I was working for an NBC affiliate in upstate New York. One of the controversies I dealt with then continues today. Should Pete Rose be inducted? Well, regardless what they decide, his name is everywhere in the hall. As you walk in, stats and records are posted. All over the wall you see P. Rose., P. Rose., P. Rose. He just doesn't have a plaque. However, there is a small independent museum down the street from the Hall dedicated just to him. The Pete Rose Museum. Oh, Cooperstown! If you get a weekend take the kids to the Hall. Glimmerglass Opera - lake Otsego - coined "Glimmerglass" in James Fenimore Cooper's Leatherstocking Tales, the Ommegang Brewery, Cooperstown Brewing Company, Danny's Deli on Main Street where you have to try the "Chicken Dilemma." If you can't afford the glorious Otesaga with its lake view and renowned golf course, stay at one of the many bed and breakfasts.

Even though I can't say I'm a huge fan of any team in particular, I enjoy going to the games and visiting stadiums across the country. Even if you aren't a Yankee fan, even if you hate the Bombers, I can't imagine not wanting to attend a game at Yankee stadium at least once. See them play your favorite team. It seems that with the approval of a new stadium in the Bronx, you might want to go while you still can.

I feel privileged.  Growing up in Houston I was always at events at the 8th Wonder of the World, The Astrodome. See, I've been cheering for The Astros for more than 30 years. It was not just a jump on the bandwagon decision in 2005. Besides, the Astros came close to making it to the World Series in 1980. Game five against the Phillies’ 2-0 lead. But an Astro triple play was overruled in the 8th inning, allowing THAT GUY PETE ROSE to steal the show. What a player.

Speaking of The Phillies, I made it out to Veterans Park for a game against the Mets before Citizens Bank Park was built. I was a regular at the The Ballpark in Arlington when I worked in Dallas, and once in Denver I walked by Coors Field trying to find a restaurant.
But this summer, between hotdogs out at Shea and Yankee stadiums - one of the two doesn't have relish- I can't remember which - I will be spending time at one of my other favorite ballparks, Harbor Yard. The Bridgeport Bluefish play their home opener against the Long Island Ducks May 3rd at 7:05 pm. See you there!

Finding NEW ways to hear OLD music

Click here to listen to Oldies while reading my Blog

I was listening to the radio the other day, flipping back and forth from the new 101.1 JACK-FM to Fairfield County's new 96.7 The Coast, when I realized these stations ARE still playing oldies. Not golden oldies, but the oldies from when I was growing up in the 70's and 80's. People are calling this music "modern oldies."
I guess it's the cycle of life.
30 and 40-somethings aren't the target of the new Hit Top 40 stations. We're the ones these new "oldies" stations want listening. This age group is considered to spend more money than seniors, so I guess we are a better sell to advertisers. I still can't believe I'm a "Modern Oldie."
I also realized how upset I'm going to be in probably only ten years when these "oldies" stations change formats again to target people who grew up in the early 2000's. I guess then I won't be such a "modern" oldie.
My photographer, Lori Golias and I were discussing how old WE as 30-somethings were feeling, when she told me about being out on another story earlier in the week. She said a group of seniors were standing around a piano singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game". That made her wonder what our generation would be singing at that age. I had an image of people sitting alone in their own rooms silent with an IPOD and buds hanging out of their ears. But we agreed that when she and I are standing around a piano in 30 or 40 years, you'll probably hear us singing Madonna's "Like A Virgin" or other songs we sang when we were young. Makes you look forward to visiting senior centers in 2040, right? Well, if you want to hear songs from the 80-s, that might be where you'll have to go to get them. Although, I guess we'll also have the internet and I-tunes as well as the skills to find our music.

People who are upset that Golden Oldies are disappearing from the airwaves can go their computers to hear stations across the world that stream online. However, the internet is a new world to a lot of seniors. So that is why the Fairfield Senior Center offers computer courses. While working on a story on how the disappearance of OLDIES radio is forcing older Americans to turn to NEW technology, I had the privilege to meet the coordinator of Fairfield Senior Center computer program, Mrs. Betty Hacker. Yes, a computer teacher named "Hacker". She smiled and nodded as if she had heard the joke a thousand times when I teased her. She actually had several of the computer lab instructors and volunteers gather for me so I could see how the courses at the center work. There is a very basic course, where Hacker says people come to learn how to use the mouse and other components of the computer. There are also other courses where they teach advanced word processing, camera work shop, database entry and even how to make greeting cards and family trees. Hacker says seniors are interested in computers because their grandchildren are obsessed with them, but also because going online is almost becoming a necessity. Plus, it can be helpful for people who can't get out of the house. Anyone 50 years of age or older can attend these courses. There is a small fee for some classes. Call 203-256-3166. Click here for Fairfield Senior Center Website

While they were demonstrating how the computer lab works, we started searching for radio stations that stream live Golden Oldies. It did take a bit of patience, but we found a good website that links you stations around the world that stream Oldies live. It doesn't cost anything to listen to these stations. You just have to have the right music player downloaded on your computer.

One of the instructors helping me out, Lou Berman of Bridgeport, showed me how he listens to the old radio shows he used to listen to when he was growing up. RadioLovers.com offers free downloads of shows such as Abbott and Costello, The Baby Snook Show, Gunsmoke and many many more. Berman says its fun because he is able to share what he used to listen to as a boy with his grandson. Though he did laugh and say his grandson first couldn't believe that he listened to "shows" on the radio when he was young.

I first researched the disappearance of the Oldies stations after New York City's famous WCBS-FM suddenly changed its Oldies format on June 3rd of 2005 to JACK-FM. I received so many calls from people in this area who grew up with WCBS-FM and the legendary DJ's. They didn't understand why all the talk and weather and Oldies were gone, and in its place a mix of music and an ornery one-liner computer announcer. I was lucky enough to get an interview with the former Program Director of WCBS-FM, Joe McCoy. He had held that position for more than 20-years and is credited for making that flagship station what it was, and for bringing in names like Cousin Brucie and Ron Lundy. However, McCoy had left just about a year before the big change was made. He said he thinks the loss of Oldies format is a shame, "basically radio is pushing away anyone over the age of 54; they are basically saying you don't count." At that time I profiled KOOL 96.7 in Norwalk as the place to turn for the oldies you might be missing from WCBS-FM.

Then, about ten months later on the evening of March 29th, 2006, KOOL 96.7 abruptly switches its format from to 96.7 the Coast, playing music from the 60's to today. The same thing happened. Many of the personalities were let go. Station management says the change was made after conducting a research project on what residents from Greenwich to Westport want to hear.
If you are a fan of oldies music, I hope you enjoy the links I provided in this blog. If you know someone who love Oldies but isn't too computer savvy, maybe you could pass along the information.

Do Bad Drivers Bug You?

I am working on another "What's Bugging You" dealing with BAD DRIVERS. So I need you to let me know what is driving you crazy out on I-95, the Merritt or anywhere else here in Connecticut. Just send an email to my new blog account BLOGHRKOVAR@News12.com or to BUGGINGYOU@News12.com and I will incorporate your aggravation into my look at behavior on the roadways.

As you are contemplating bad driving, here is something to keep in mind. While researching a previous story on drivers, a local police officer told me that many behind the wheel don't even realize they are making aggravating mistakes. Say someone speeds past you, cuts in front, then slams on their brakes. The officer's advice is to not let it get to you. Don't let it ruin your day. Because if you in turn get irritated, you could end up making a driving mistake.

Since it is Monday and I brought up bad moments out on the road: let me share MY Monday morning commute story with you. It started as I put my keys into the ignition because thats when I noticed my tank was on empty. How did I not see this when I drove last? So I drive to the closest gas station, which is only self serve. However the attendant was nowhere to be seen. As I'm trying to pump myself, I realize the pump is off and I need the attendant to turn it on. He finally turns it on, but I end up pumping myself and paying more than $3.00 a gallon. I'm now running behind, but to make things worse, I see tail lights ahead of me. Its 4:00 a.m. and its bumper to bumper. Emergency construction. Lucky for me, though, it didn't take too long to get through. Still I'm a bit aggravated. And since I let it get to me, something else happens. In a hurry, I take my exit a little faster than I usually do, and I hear a sputter. SPZZZZZ... I think, "please let that be on the radio." But I look down, and see that my orange soda has fallen to the floorboard, spitting and spilling all over. I'm able to grab it, but not without spilling coffee on my lap. I was so happy to finally get to work!

Happy Monday! And don't forget to tell me what bugs you out on Connecticut's roadways. BLOGHRKOVAR@News12.com or to BUGGINGYOU@News12.com

Thank you for the responses already!

Maulik: We boast to be the most technologically savvy country to live in and yet the basic street lights most often don't work on I-95 and parts of Norwalk, how pathetic can it get. Especially when it rains the lights turn off magically as if a genie would have stopped by and rubbed it. Under the bridges or on exit ramps or on connectors to route 7, invariably the lights are never there or they don't seem to work.

Here are some of the complaints about drivers that viewers have sent to Bugging You over the past year. Its the number one topic people complain about.

People who use the on ramp on I95 to pass everyone else stuck in traffic. People who think a yield sign means don't look- just keep going.

Edie: I drive a truck and I constantly see people driving around in the rain, even torrential downpours, with their wipers on but NOT their headlights !!

It really bugs me that people do not keep right on I-95.

Marty: Yes , I have a pet peeve!!! Stupid, Dangerous, inconsiderate, foolish, moronic, irresponsible, selfish, heartless, crazy, oh, did I write STUPID!!!!!!!............DRIVERS, who do NOT use the TURN SIGNAL when changing lanes !!!!!!!!!!

Linda: Most drivers here do not use their turn signals. Now why you as a driver would NOT want everyone around you know that you are turning or changing lanes is beyond me but we seem to think if we let others know they will take the imaginary spot we were going to take on the highway.

Motorcycles weaving in and out on the highway!

Anthony: Bravo to Connecticut lawmakers on their implementation on the tail gating law. This law should greatly help avoid accidents. There is, however, another major traffic issue, not only in CT but throughout the eastern United States. That issue is aggressive driving, weaving into lanes at very high speeds, creating potential horrific multi-vehicle accidents.

Barbara: Almost every morning as I get on I95 Southbound from the 8/25 connector there is always a back up. No problem. Everyone is trying to get to work. What really bugs me is, I get right off at Exit 26 and as I approach the exit there are drivers who leave 2 to 4 car lengths in front of them while the traffic is crawling. Don't tail gate but don't take a nap, sip your coffee, put on your mascara, talk on your cell, eat your breakfast or do whatever it is you do that you don't notice you need binoculars to see the car in front of you.

Eduardo: What's bugging me is when you are on I-95 and there's an accident in your line or maybe on the other side, and the people almost stop their car to see what is happening.